by the Way . . .

You know how things always seem to start in California and just spread everywhere. Rainy days and Mondays, hippies, flowers in the hair, political correctness, homosexuality, stuff like that. Well, there is more trouble coming, if their legislature can have an end. Can you imagine how paralyzed governments will be across the country if we all have to pick a state wine? That is what they are trying to do now.

State Senator Carol Migden, D. San Francisco (what else?) proposed designating zinfandel the official state wine, saying it was “quintessential California”. This of course was crushed by proponents of chardonnay, cabernet sauvignon, merlot, thunderbird, et al. It even knocked short dogs of MD 20/20 right out of the park. Finally a compromise passed the Senate, giving zinfandel the less auspicious title “The Historic Wine”. Opponents are now fighting in the Assembly to water that down to “A Historic Wine”. "The" is just too imposing. You know, "The Donald", "The Arnold". Advocates complain that this dilutes the dispute down to something meaningless.

So what is more important, history, the Judgment of Paris, or sales? Zinfandel buffs claim it was there first, clear back in the early days. The cabernet and chardonnay buffs point to the 1976 blind taste test Paris showdown between California and France, won by their grapes, putting California on the map. And of course the Pharisees back merlot, for which sales has edged out cabernet and are overtaking zinfandel. Individual history, of course, backs Thunderbird, which most of us grew up on at $1 a short dog. OK, and a nod to you snooty Night Train aficionados. You were willing to sport an extra $.35 to put on the dog. As if money could buy class.

Let’s just hope the scientists don’t get into this. Look what they have done to the state crop of Iraq. There has been a long running dispute about the historical primacy of grain and legumes versus figs as the earliest cultivated crop at the dawn of agriculture. The conventional wisdom favored chickpeas, but the fig folks point to what Adam and Eve threw on as proof that the fig tree grew wild in Eden, now suburban Ur. You will remember that they were allowed to eat almost everything in the garden, but had to avoid anything that might alert them to the fact that they were naked. This regulation was probably intended to protect the fig tree. Anyway, there the mater rested, until now.

Now the analysis of some old burned figs has shown they were grown over 11,000 years ago, and were cultivated, not wild. They know that because comparing the current wild fig with the domesticated fig showed that the ancient fig had sweet fruit but no fertile seeds. It is not known whether grabbing the leaves off had anything to do with this mutation. It turns out that while this sweet fig couldn’t reproduce by itself, humans could grow new trees by sticking a piece of stem in the ground. You can see why that is a lot easier than plowing for chickpeas, and led to doing the fig first. Only when you get very tired of fig newtons are you going to switch. If your alternative was chickpeas, it could take a while.

So you see, the scientists get into it, and all sides are wrong. Who knows what the result in California might be? Suppose they dig up an old bottle of chickpea 20/20? That could knock zinfandel right off its pedestal.