by the Way . . .

It has been said that teenagers are God's punishment for enjoying sex. Now, whether you do or don't, there is a new device for preventing the results from gathering around your home or business. The Mosquito emits a high frequency pulsing sound that can be heard by most teenagers but rarely by anyone older. The sound is highly irritating to teens, leading quickly to their dispersal. Sort of like the stuff you spray on furniture to keep the cat off.

Tests showed the device to be 50% more effective than classical music, and faster than the zit lamp, which casts a blue light which accentuates pimples, whiteheads and other teen blemishes. The device can be ordered for a well worth it £495 + VAT.